Nothing in life comes for free – especially not the status of being a Jamaican-uptown-rude bwoy-don man aka having a good last name and a bad attitude. These boys are the definition of #worst #behavior. At their family dinner tables they have the best manners and on the road they come in like some recently released wild animal. Love them or hate them: They’re bound to
be a give you a few jokes (on purpose or otherwise).
Essentials include – Ferragamo Loafers and a Family business. Because if you have one you definitely have the other. B. Button downs. Stripe button down. Polka dot button down. Plaid button down. Pastel button down. I just got a hold of my trust fund interest button down. Most Rude Bwoys would have started out with the Polo variety and then #matured on to greater brands. C. Strong swim trunks game with the back bone of the wardrobe being #Vilebrequin .
An expertly curated social media existence of which it is vital to let everyone know you have a better view than them including pictures of A. Yacht B. Jet Ski C. Family house D. Vacay House E. Other Vacay house F. Motorbike G. Benz H. Other other Benz I. Bros J. You and bros popping bottles K. PROMOTIONAL PARTY SHIT L.Random sexy imported gyal batty L. A family xmas picture – of you with all your little siblings so the
bitches girls know your a family kinda guy. M. Necessary hashtags include – #familyfirst #bikelife #blessed
Did you have some questionable time on South Beach? Where you politely asked to not return to boarding school? Did daddy have to get you out of jail time? May you have accidentally smuggled something somewhere one time? Did you try to dagger with white girls/use your aggressive Jamaican flirting skills AND SCARE WHITE GIRLS? Congrats you’re an uptown ute.
There is no boy without his toys – A. Boat – scientific fact that nothing gets a
bitch girl wet like a some nice sea water. B. Extra points if you’re boat that has its own t-shirts C. Country House – To take all the bitches ex-model you import from your south beach days because you can’t bring them to your crib…where you live with your parents. D. Latest technical gadget such as Drone. Plus every accessory that has ever existed for it.
A group of degenerate youths with the same rum consumption levels as yourself. Plus: A group message chat with your bros that would turn any woman panty to rockstone if she was to read it. B. Downtown friends for streetcreds. C. Local celebrity friends for international cred from your college friends. D. Birdbush weekend – the few weekends at the end of summer that every woman wants to kill herself. THEY ARE INNOCENT BIRDS LEAVE THEM ALONE YOU ARE NOT A #TOPSHOTTA #GENERAL #MURDERSGUNCLUB #MAKEITSTOP
BITCHES GIRLS BE THIRSTY DUH
ALSO DON’T FORGET YOUR UMBRELLA SWAG SWAG