UPTOWN_rihanna_carnial_2013_3DA QUEEN

When it comes to having a “tun up” body, Rude Gyals have it rougher than most. between enjoying life restaurant, alchohol-ing and 4 ams snacking, it’s not our fault all of our favourite activities are financially and calorie heavy!

A Rude Gyal is always prepping their bikini bod but the olympics of “tun up body-ness” is undoubtedly carnival season.  When Uptown Princesses aren’t stressing out over what neon colour of costume goes with their skin tone (answer = none), they’re stressing about their “Carnival Body Diets”. Prepping for carnival is just like regular starvation training except half the carbs, double the gym time and triple the gym selfies. Phew thats the most maths I’ve done ever all semester.


Rude Gyal Aliya Seh Just Do It!

Add to the equation : A.) tanning B.) a couple hundred dollars worth of make up C.) flash tats (big up @no_regretsja AND of course getting your hands on some black market chicken feathers now that the government has banned them. (The official statement is the ban is because of bird flu. Word on the street is that the all inclusives have made a deal to only import from one USA chicken manufacture. Me wah know what happen to the good good cb chicken??) 

Anyways – All rude gyals know that you don’t just show up to carnival un starved, un lax-ed, un tanned and un drunk. Even the super dope rude gyal Ms Jamaica Kaci Fennell is putting in that extra gym time. Fyi loved your trini costume don’t let nobody talk to you.

IMG_5110 (2)


The “scandalous” Ms Jamaica outfit. heh.

Remember Kids! It’s not like carnival bodies are a competition or anything but….Every uptown princess is genetically equipped with a mental checklist of who has and hasn’t lost weight. Just saying!  I’ll be over here writhing with jealousy stalking your asses on social media next week. Jk if mad family’s not at carnival it’s prob not worth it.

So if carnival snuck up on you without the extra squats do what any rude gyal would do, – Drink a shit ton of caffeine and replace 1-2 meals with wine liquids.  There you go body tun up! 


Rude Gyal


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