Cold Tho(ugh)ts from Warm (Weather) People.
- If I wear a ski mask it’s okay because no-one can tell who I am, right?
- Could I pull off a snuggie at work if it came in a chic/inconspicuous color. ponchos are in this season no?
- Oh what a surprise I look like the Michelin man. Again.
- People have been living on this eskimo-vibe crap for their whole lives??? – And don’t know any better.
- People will continue to live on this eskimo-vibe crap for the rest of their lives??? – And never know better.
- I wonder if there is any coat, anywhere, that could actually keep me warm.
- HOW are they wearing that? No really please tell, I’m not judging, I’m genuinely interested. How?
- I can manage maybe 2 more winters of this north pole crap, then I’m done. DONE.
- A love haiku to the Subway door – please please please close.
- Jah, if you sort me out with a taxi in the next 5 minutes, this one time, I will never do anything bad ever ever again, I swear.
- How are you supposed to text and walk? How are you supposed to google maps and walk? Is this a sign not to leave my apartment?
- What do you mean I get sick when I wear my Non-Michelin man, semi attractive coat to go out?
- Coat checks are an evil portal of hell, designed to make you forget all of your belongings at the club.
- Oh this is not embarrassing at all going back to the club in broad day light to search for my personal belongings. (oh wait this is all year round)
- Why won’t my other friends understand that if it is more than 3 blocks I am cabbing.
- Please stop telling me about this “layering” business. It’s a conspiracy and a lie and I’m not interested.
- Wine is the only thing that makes me feel warm.
- If I turn my shower on full heat and play Bob Marley this is the beach right?
- Hell yes I can eat this, I deserve it, its negative degrees out. ( oh wait this is all year round)
- I don’t care I am ordering food from the restaurant downstairs. (Yup – this is all year round too)
- Sanka you dead?