Commandments of a Rude Gyal Friendship


  1. Ye shall have an I-phone message train of potential life purchases and life choices.
  2. screenshots of that one bitch that kills you on Insta.
  3. Ye shall ask my general opinion on everything. and then probably ignore it. 
  4. Ye shall be my down bitch.
  5. Ye shall help me when my bikinibottoms/bra strap/nipples/love interests/life goals go astray.
  6. Ye shall be down to drink tequila with me when I’m about to see an ex/heart broken/job frustrated/ life anxious.
  7. Ye shall be down to drink tequila with me for no reason.
  8. Ye shall be down to be there when the tequila casually makes a return into bush/toilet 3 hours later.
  9. Ye shall tell no-one.
  10. Ye shall be casual about it the next day.
  11. Ye shall know my dating history better than I know it myself. (Rude Gyal 1: omg I totally forgot I hooked up with him Rude Gyal 2 : Twice) 
  12. Ye shall couch (from the verb : to couch) with ample snacking supplies for all Sundays.
  13. Ye shall have a shared favourite tv show or be down to watch some un-intellectual/embarrassing stuff.
  14. Ye shall be down to bro out.
  15. Ye shall be down to drink wine. Lots and lots of wine.
  16. Ye shall approve my ShopBop/Revolve shopping carts before purchase.
  17. Ye shall help me when I am drunk on a boat.
  18. And also on land. 
  19. Ye shall boozy brunch.
  20. Ye shall feed me pan chicken/ popcorn/ pizza at 4 am.
  21. Ye shall go on trips together wearing semi matching sneakers and sweats on the flight. and start drinking before take off.
  22. Ye shall rescue me at parties when that one person I hate is talking to me.  Actually ye shall probably be too busy doing shots at the bar.
  23. Ye shall come for a “cigarette break” with me at parties when we both get tired of talking to people.
  24. Ye shall chill with me and then later realise we haven’t said a word to each other for hours.
  25. Ye shall tag me in some dumb and/or funny posts on Instagram.
  26. Ye shall not be afraid to ask me: Should I text back?/Does he like me?/Should I message him? OR say “Don’t judge me but ….”
  27. Ye shall remind me what I deserve.
  28. Ye shall know what I look like at my worst and still be down to chill.
  29. Ye shall be there through good decisions, bad decisions and indecision.
  30. Ye shall be my RudeGyal 

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