Rude Gyal Business Model

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As some of you know, Anna Henriques and I have been working on a jewelry line “Galavant” for the past few months. If any of you have looked on an anytown uptown girls’ wrist in the past 2 months there is a 100% 50% probability she is wearing a Galavant bracelet. Or that’s at least what we would like to believe.  Here is the business model of the “Rude Gyal”.

 

1. Don’t teif (theif) any body man – Due to the minute size of Jamaica, every man you teif (theif) eliminates 2% of future female buyers, add on another 6% for all of her friends that will scorn your product out of spite. See  our : “One Love” bracelet.

2. Don’t trouble no body – If you step on peoples toes and don’t say sorry they will not buy your jewelry. See : “Walk Good”

3. Free World Boss – Somebody told me that Adi Innocent Vybz Kartel said that much of his success is because he bigged up “the freaky gyals” that close minded Jamaicans had scorned before. Find the things people are too busy turning their noses up at, and then celebrate them. Jamaicans will eventually follow fashion. See : “Rude Gyal”

 

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4. Always come to have a good time – Nobody wants a product made by a sourpuss**. See “Skankin”

5. Work with somebody – that knows more than you do, works as hard as you do, and feels as strongly as you. See: “Anchor”

6. Every Jamaican secretly (and not so secretly) thinks they are a celebrity – We are genetically inclined promoters. This is the reason Galavant exists at all, big up unno self. See : “Blessed”

7. Every Jamaican wants the next best thing – Have the next best thing. See : “Galavant”

8. All those boring dinner parties you went to as a child – will finally have some use when you can ask uncle to give you a bligh. You can’t ask for a bligh if you don’t deserve it. Be polite. ALWAYS. See : “Ohm”

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9. Everyone spends so much time complaining about Jamaica, create something that celebrates Jamaica instead – Dont listen to radio talk show host, don’t listen to your neighbour. Jamaica is not over and Jamaica is not going down the drain. See : “Jamrock”

10. In foreign, Jamaicans want everyone in a 10 mile radius to know that they are the Jamaican you’ve always wanted to be friends with – Make a product that allows people to advertise that they come from yaad. See : “18.1824 N 77.3218” coordinates bracelet.

11. Nights are the worst for feeling like nothing will ever happen –  and that the world is ending. Smoke a spliff, drink two a rum, go to bed early, wake up early and work harder. Nobody wants to hear your sob story, they only want to hear “its going great”, make it so that’s the truth. See : “Light Up”

Its actually super simple: big up Jamaica, don’t be lazy and most of all : don’t be an asshole. When you start dreaming in invoices let me know.

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